Dear PWSA....

Dear Pittsburgh Water and Sewer Authority,

I am sorry to hear that you decided to change your requirements on how to tap into your ailing and aging system.

It is most unfortunate that you approved our plans some time ago but now, we must resubmit them in your new format.

Let me be the first to say thank you for making me come to your office and supplying me with increments of how to correctly submit our new plans. I do so enjoy seeing you every week. I thought you were just teasing me when we called to let you know we were ready to "tap in". I could hear the small smile spread across your face right before you told me " Can't do it. You

have to resubmit your plan according to the new specifications." I made a special trip to see you and you provided me with the new specifications...well, I mean some of them ; ) When I hand delivered them to you, you gruffly said, "where is the drawing". I thought you were just being coy but oh how you tease. I went back to our partner and had the drawing completed. I knew you just wanted to see me one more time so I sucked it up, got in my car, and hand delivered your beautiful shining drawing right to your front door. Now, I have to say, I was taken aback when you uttered, "the drawing needs to be on mylar paper".

Now, pardon my language, but now I know you are just fucking with me. Your polite demeanor and sarcastic sense of humor had me going for awhile but I am sorry to inform you - you're just an ass.

I really hope I never have to see or talk to you again. Chances are we will since we will be intrinsically tied to your extra expensive, unreliable, and failing umbilical cord. That is if we ever get approval to get the show on the road.

Until we meet again,

Rebecca and Jeff